Had to snap these photos to confirm I'm not going insane. But there are KoRn and Slipknot shirts at Topshop and Urban Outfitters. Like, copies of the originals. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this day would come.
So, confession time, I used to really like Korn. Honestly, it wasn't cool to admit this even when they were at the height of their popularity. I actually threw out my Korn shirt because I was like "this will never be cool again" LOL. Because Korn sucks now. Like, a lot. They are a terrible band. I'd die of embarrassment if anyone thought I still listened to them.
Which brings me to the above t-shirt being sold at Topshop for $50. If post-2000 Korn never happened, I'd probably have gotten it. But they are still making terrible music today. If you wore that, their heyday was recent enough ago that people will think you are wearing that unironically.
But then I realize that that was over 15 years ago and the target audience for that shirt either wasn't born or was like 5 years old. Girl, do you even know what you are buying? This is the band that had a chorus of "my dick is bigger than yours" in a rap battle song with Limp Bizkit in their megahit album!
What I'm saying is, this is kind of not a cool shirt to wear if you want to be fashionable. For heaven's sake, it was my ironic tag in the bars of Brooklyn. You can tell I was at one point an expert at writing their logo everywhere:
I also saw a Slipknot shirt at Urban Outfitters next to a Metallica shirt. So, Metallica also sucks now, but they were pioneers who have basically achieved "classic rock" status. But Slipknot? No. And this is from someone who was a fan at one point. I even saw them in the greatest show ever, when they played with Rammstein. For real, I can't bring myself to hate either of these shirts, but I'd never wear them lest anyone think I actually still listen to these bands like a person who is trapped forever in their youth as the world has gone by. I can't think of a way to look more old.
So yeah, I guess this is the blog post in which I realize that I'm old. Something I thought was recent turned out to be over 15 years ago (or almost 20) and I'm old and confused at why it's at a mainstream store as a fashion statement. But I'm sorry--nu-metal ain't the Rolling Stones or Led Zepplin or the Beatles. Which, those of you in my age group, the olds were laughing at us for wearing those shirts and asking, "Do you even listen to that band?"
I'll help you out, fast fashion stores, while we're on this course. Nu-metal was really a gateway drug to ICP fandom. May I suggest....
Is anyone also feeling especially weirded out by seeing nu-metal--freaking nu-metal!!--shirts at fast fashion stores???!?!?