Most of the responses I get are positive, but occasionally there are weirdos. I noticed that I got more harassment when I was 1) younger and 2) visited smaller towns. I spent most of my life in two of the biggest cities in the US, where dark fashion isn't too strange.
1) "It's not Halloween": Fuck em. I ignore them.
2) "Are you goth?": I can't tell if they are really that sheltered or if they're harassing me. A lot of inner city kids used to ask me this, so I assumed they didn't know. Otherwise fuck em. I ignore them or walk away.
3) General questions about my aesthetics, or specific questions about specific items "Why are you wearing those witch boots?": This annoys me. I usually counter with "What do those pink ballet flats and blue jeans say about your personality" when I'm bitchy, a simple "I dunno...I just like it." The answer they want is "Oh witch boots are dark and spooky like my soul! like my favorite band, Sisters or Mercy." At least I think. I think they just want you to be the stereotypes they remember from high school or tv. Of course, if the questions are genuine interest, I won't be a bitch, but we're talking about negative cat calls here.
4) *STARES* *KEEPS STARING*: I just let them stare. If it's creepy, I walk away. I don't confront them. That's how you get stabbed. If it's a dumb teen, I make eye contact and raise my eyebrows. If it's a cute little kid, I smile and wave. You look weird. People will stare. You have to be comfortable with this, otherwise you shouldn't wear the look. Sorry.
5) Oooh, you aren't wearing black today? or Why do you always wear black? Go easy on them...probably your friends or office workers are saying this. Aside from cutting my hair, when I don't wear black is the most exciting thing that happens around the water cooler (except when we got that new coffee machine...OMG we were talking about that for weeks). Usually these people want to talk to you but don't have a way to break the ice...today they break the ice. That being said, I roll my eyes and walk away. JUST KIDDING. I usually respond with "Nah, I hardly ever wear black" and change the subject, usually complimenting anything they're wearing. This pleases them. You made a friend.
6) Perverts: there are creeps who harass women... And creeps who harass Gothic women. No matter who you are, there's an asshole who fetishizes your type. As soon as they approach, I just start walking. If they sneak up on me, I don't even let them finish the first sentence. I just walk away. You don't have to talk to someone just because they walked up to you. You can walk away while they are midsentence. They'll say you're a stuck-up bitch or whatever..but it's better than if you stay and talk with them. I had guys touch me. One guy reversed down the wrong side of the street--putting his own life at risk--to yell things at me. Another guy just said I was his thing and started showing me pictures of his dick on his cellphone. All instances, I eventually walked away, ignoring them. Even Dick Guy, who continued walking with me for a while.
(Bad neighborhoods: on the topic of safety, I've lived in one of the worst neighborhoods in the country... Being weird-looking kind of reduced the amount of casual hostility I got, I noticed. However, dealing with hostility in these neighborhoods is a whole different matter altogether...I one time answered yes to the classic "hey, baby...need a ride?" because a literal gang war just erupted around me. I think we were both caught off guard by my answer (and the violence), because he just ended up just driving me home. In complete silence. My point is...all bets are off in these kinds of neighborhoods)
What catcalls have you heard, and how did you respond?
What catcalls have you heard, and how did you respond?
